Unnatural Love
by Yaoi-Freak1990
Summary: It's not normal. This isn't right. I shouldn't feel this way. He is my brother. Todd has been having feelings for his brother. He knows it's wrong, but it's becoming harder to hide his feelings. Will he confess his love or will he keep everything inside?
1. Realizing Feelings

It's not normal. This isn't right. I shouldn't feel this way. He is my brother.

Ever since I turned 14, I have been looking at my brother differently. He is only two years older than I am. The first time I looked at him, actually looked, it was his 16th birthday.

We were swimming in our pool in the backyard. I watched him climb up the steps to get out of the water. When his body emerged from the water, I saw he had become muscular. Then I watched as tiny droplets ran down his tanned, well-toned chest. He slicked his hair back, running his hands through his hair, to brush his auburn hair from his face. I saw his hair had gotten longer, now a little past his shoulders. Then I glanced up meeting his brown eyes.

I instantly felt embarrassed. He just kept looking at me and then he laughed, "What? Are you staring at me, Todd?" His grin widened.

"Umm…I-I was j-just…" I stuttered. I took a few seconds to think, "You look nice, I mean, you've got muscles." I felt like hitting myself. Could I sound any stupider?

"Uhh…thanks," he said awkwardly, "I started taking a weight lifting class. I guess working my ass off finally paid off." He ended with a laugh.

I decided to change the subject, as I got out of the pool I said, "We should probably get our showers taken, it's already nine o'clock. I reek of chlorine." I was now standing in front of him.

"Nah. You smell wonderful." At this we both laughed, and then he playfully punched my arm. He started toward the house, and all I could do was watch him walk ahead of me. My heart was racing. I took a few seconds to watch him glide across the lawn, and then I followed.

Once we were inside, we said goodnight to our parents and headed upstairs.

He looked at me and smiled. We said goodnight simultaneously. I watched him go to his room, which was across the hall from mine, and when he shut his door I went in my room and closed my door.

That was the first time I ever looked at him like that. I learned I loved him more than a brotherly way. With each passing week, it began to get harder to hide my feelings.

I knew it was wrong, and I was ashamed of my feelings and desires. I couldn't stop the way I was feeling. If I kept going on like this, he would soon find out.

I went from just thinking about him, to watching him, to wanting him. But I am sure if I told him my feelings, he would be disgusted with me. I don't think I could stand to not have him around. I would miss his smile, his laugh, and him even talking to me.

I care too much; love him to much, to ever do that to him. I don't want to ruin what we have. Therefore, I will never tell him. Even though I promised myself this, I knew I would eventually cave.

_Yaoi-Freak1990- It was a weird start, I know. Next chapter will be better, I promise. Review and tell me what you think. Thanks. _


	2. Saying Goodbyes

A few weeks had passed since Andrew's 16th birthday. I had been having a hard time looking at him. I felt ashamed because I had been…..touching myself while thinking about him. I hated myself for it, but I couldn't help it.

It was Friday night, one night before Andrew left for three whole weeks. We lived in Missouri and he was going with a friend to Florida. It's going to be the longest three weeks ever.

I was getting ready to lay down for bed, it was already 10:57 p.m. When I turned my lights off and started to head to my bed when someone knocked on my door.

"Come in." I watched the door open and light flooded into my room. Then I saw my lovely brother standing in my doorway.

"Can I come in?" then he took a step back, "Oh, you're going to bed, I'll go." He went to leave.

"No, wait." He turned and looked at me, "I was just going to lie down, you can come in."

"Okay." He came in and shut the door. I turned a lamp on and we both got in my bed sitting in the middle. "I'm going away for a couple of weeks and I feel like we haven't really talked in awhile. I also kinda got the feeling you were avoiding me." I froze. 'Did he know?'

"Did I do anything wrong to upset you or piss you off?" He looked at me for a long time. What was I supposed to say?

"No."

"Then what's bothering you?"

"Nothing."

"You can't lie, I know you very well and I can tell something is bothering you."

I looked away. What am I to say? Oh it's nothing; I'm just insanely in love with you. What would he say if his little brother was in love with him?

"Are you having problems with your love life?" My eyes went wide and my head snapped towards him. "Oh, so you are having love problems." He laughed.

I smiled shyly and asked, "Got any advice?" I lightly laughed.

"Well, I've never actually been in love and, by the way, have you told them?" He asked.

"No."

"Do you ever plan on telling them?"

"No."

"Well, why not?" he questioned.

"They'll hate me. Most likely be disgusted with me." I said sadly.

"Oh. Why do you think that?" he asked me curiously.

A minute went by and I still didn't answer. He cleared his throat and started, "Why would she…." I cut him off, "It's not a she."

He was silent for a few seconds and just looked at me. "So, it's a guy?"

"It's totally wrong and disgusting, I know." I looked away not wanting to see the look on his face.

"No." I looked at his serious face. "If you love someone, it doesn't matter. You shouldn't let it stop you, you need to tell him. If you don't tell him, you will always wander what if. Y'know?"

"Yeah, but what if he doesn't like me back? I don't want to lose him completely." I felt my eyes burn as tears threatened to fall.

"Just do what you think is best. I still think you should tell him."

"Maybe in time, but I'm not sure." I said with a sigh.

"Take time to think it over." He reached out and grabbed my shoulder, rubbing it. "I'm glad you told me. I'm always here for you, okay?"

"Okay, thanks." With that he pulled me in for a hug. I liked being close with his protective arms around me.

He held me for a minute and then finally spoke, "I'll call you when I get to Florida. But if you need to talk, don't hesitate to call."

"Alright." I said and he pulled away. "I'll call you tomorrow then. Get some sleep and don't worry so much." He smiled at me and I felt my heart melt.

"Okay, goodnight." I smiled back. "Night." He left and I lay down and drifted into a deep sleep.

_Disclaimer: Please review and tell me what you thought!!! Thank you._


	3. Phone Call

I woke up to hearing my brother's door being shut. I immediately jumped out of bed and darted towards the door. I opened it and saw my brother standing in front of my door.

"Wow, you look lovely." He was smiling and I could tell he was getting ready to leave. I was still half asleep and I know my hair was probably sticking up. He was fully dressed and I was just in boxers.

"I was coming to see if you were up so I could say goodbye." He pulled me in for a hug and wrapped my arms around his back. He squeezed me really tight and said, "Goodbye, I will call you when we land in Florida."

"Okay, bye. Don't forget." I laughed.

"Never." He pulled away and smiled at me. He reached up and messed up my hair some more. "I'll miss you."

It felt like my heart dropped to my stomach. I smiled back, "I'll miss you too."

He stood there for a few seconds just looking at me. Then he turned and left down the stairs.

I walked back in my room, shutting my door, with my heart racing. 'Why was he looking at me like that?' I headed to my bathroom and started a shower. Once my clothes were removed, I stepped in. I shuddered as the hot water warmed my skin. I stood there with my eyes closed wandering if I should tell Andrew my feelings. This was so messed up.

I can't just keep this from, I need to tell him. How am I supposed to confess my feelings to my older brother? I am afraid he will push me away. For some reason, I think he will listen and understand. I don't care if he likes me or not. I just hope he doesn't hate me. I don't want to lose him as a brother or a friend. I would love it if he liked me back, but I doubt it. I couldn't get that lucky.

After a few minutes of thinking I washed and got out. I walked downstairs and saw my mom and dad eating breakfast. Mom asked, "Morning, you hungry?"

I smiled, "Very." It was 7 and they would be leaving around 8.

We ate breakfast together and then they left for work.

I was home by myself, all I had to do was watch movies and wait for Andrew to call.

I decided to watch the seasons of my favorite show, Friends. I spent the whole day watching season nine. I was watching the episode where Rachael realizes she has a little thing for Joey. I heard my cell phone playing Photograph by Nickelback, then I jumped up realizing it was my brother's ringtone.

I answered really fast, "Hello?"

"Hey!" I heard his familiar voice and smiled.

"Are you in Florida already?" I questioned.

"Yep, and it is hot as hell!" I heard his gorgeous laugh and I in return laughed.

He asked, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Watching Friends." I replied with a chuckle.

"Imagine that, you are obsessed." He laughed.

"Nah. It's a good show." I said in defense.

"Yeah it's good. I just like giving you a hard time." He laughed again.

"Well, I have to go. We are going to eat and I will call you later when we get back to the hotel. Maybe you can tell me your secret love." I heard his friend telling him to hurry up.

"Don't get your hopes up." I laughed.

"You suck," he laughed, "I will talk to you later then, okay?"

"K."

"Bye."

"Bye, bye." I heard his side of the call go silent and I hung up.

I felt tired and laid down for a nap. Then I started to have an interesting dream.

_Disclaimer: Hey, review and tell me what you think. Next chapter gets better. Todd has a nice dream. ___


	4. An Interesting Dream

I was stepping out of the shower and reached for my towel. I wrapped it around my waist and headed back in my room. I turned off the lights and the only light was from the lamps on either side of my bed. I felt the water drip from my hair and run down my back.

I went to get a pair of boxers and heard my door click shut. I spun around seeing my brother leaning against my door in only boxers, a smile playing on his lips. He looked me up and down, and then met my eyes.

I felt frozen, I couldn't move a muscle. He started walking towards me and I felt as if my throat was closed. "What are you doing?" I questioned.

Andrew reached up, with both hands, and pulled my face to his. When his lips touched mine, I gasped.

His tongue ran across my lips, and I parted them. He slid his tongue into my mouth and ran his tongue all along the inside of my mouth. I moaned feeling his tongue slide along my tongue.

He pulled away, looking pleased, and ripped my towel off. "Hey!" He pushed me on to the bed and flipped me over, having my lay on my stomach. I felt his bare chest touch my back.

"What are y-?" He reached under and grabbed my member. I gasped as he started to rub me up and down. His other hand slithered down my side and reached my butt. He lightly rubbed my butt, teasing me, and positioned a finger at my hole. "Relax little brother." He pushed his finger in and I let out a low groan.

His lips tickled my ear as he spoke, "I want you." He licked my ear and then I heard the song Photograph playing.

I snapped up in bed with wide eyes.

_Yaoi-Freak1990- Hi people! Sorry it took me so long to update. I've been busy with moving and things are crazy at home. I also apologize for this chapter being so short. I guess I could have had the dream and other stuff, but I decided to make this the end of the chapter. Well, review and tell me what you think! I promise that the brothers will get together soon. Things will be different when Andrew returns._

_Thanks to: __michiei__, I'm glad you like it. Andrew will find out soon, promise! HellKaisersAngel, Happy to see you liked it! Thanks for reviewing. Don't stop reading! I promise everyone that it will be more fun to read. Just give me a few more chapters. I will try to write more faster! LOVE YA'LL!!! _


	5. Wake Up Call

I snapped up in bed with wide eyes. I jumped to the phone on the night stand and answered in a shaky voice, "H-hello?"

"Whoa. Are you okay? You sound worn-out, what are you doing?" He said with concern.

"I was sleeping." I said confused.

"Ma, what the hell were you dreaming?" He said laughing.

"I don't remember." I lied. I looked down seeing I was hard. Even though he wasn't here, I felt embarrassed. I felt as if I was doing something wrong or bad. I couldn't help what I was dreaming.

"Okay…..well, I was just checking on you. I'll let you go and talk to you later, okay?" He asked.

"Okay."

"You gonna be okay?" He asked concerned.

I perked up, trying to forget the dream. "Yep, I'll be fine."

"Alright. I'll call you later."

"Okay," I said smiling, "later."

"K. Bye."

"Bye bye." I hung up and let out a sigh. Good god, what an exciting dream. Okay, okay I'll just not think about it. I looked down seeing I was still hard.

I sighed and laid down. Trying to relax and not think about my dream. God, I miss him. I hope these few weeks go by fast. I wanna see him.

I finally fell back to sleep and had a sleepless dream. Soon mom would be home and then I could think of something other than Andrew.

_Yaoi-Freak1990 – Sorry it took so long to update. I am also sorry that this chapter was so short. Andrew will find out soon, I promise, very soon. Well, thanks to those of you who review and keep reading my story! Tell me what ya think. Thanks!_


	6. Andrew Comes Home

It had been three weeks and my brother was on a plane heading back home. I was home by myself, my parents went to a family party and I decided to stay home and wait for Andrew to come home. I felt excited that he was coming home, but embarrassed as well.

Now that he's going be home, he's going to be teasing me. I'm afraid that he'll figure out that it's him that I'm in love with. I'm going to have to try my best to not say anything to make him think it's him.

I waited awhile just sitting at the kitchen table watching the clock. I started to get bored and decided to go watch T.V. As soon as I stood up, my phone started to ring. I reached into my pocket, getting my phone, and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I can see the house." It was Andrew. My heart started racing.

"You're here?" I asked him. I ran to the door, yanking it open. When the door was opened, my brother stood right in front of me.

"Yep. I'm home." He smiled, god I missed that smile.

I felt overjoyed, a huge grin spreading across my face. "Andrew!" I jumped into his arms, hugging him. Our phones were still on, but we just stood there holding each other. He had one hand in my neat hair, messing it up, the other on my back.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too." My heart felt like it was going to explode.

We pulled away, closing our phones, and came in the house. He set his bags down and kept smiling at me. Now it felt weird.

I laughed, crossing my arms. "What?"

He shrugged, "Nothin."

"Yeah, right. What is it?"

He chuckled. "Wanna tell me who your crush is?" His smile widened.

'Oh, great. I was afraid of this.' I thought. "Umm…..nope. Forget it." I started running up the stairs.

"Oh. Come on!" He chased after me. Of course, he runs faster than I do. Bye the time I reached the top, he was right behind me.

I ran in my room and turned around to face him. He shoved me onto the bed and jumped on top of me. He pinned my arms above my head and sat on my lower stomach. Since he was stronger than me, I was stuck.

I sighed, "You can't make me tell you."

"How about this," he started, "I'll ask you some questions about him. Maybe, I can guess who he is." 'Uh-oh. What do I do? He's going to find out.'

"Does he go to our school?" he asks.

"Andr-" He cuts me off. "Answer." He says, demanding.

I sigh, irritated. "Yeah." He smiles, I glare at him.

"What grade is he in?"

'Don't answer, don't answer that.' I know my face went pale because he had a concerned look on his face. "You can tell me who he is." I shook my head, no.

"I can't, I'm sorry." He looked disappointed. "Just tell me what grade."

Maybe, I can just tell him that. "10th." He smiled, "So, he's in my grade?"

I close my eyes, trying to avoid his gaze. "Mhmm."

"See that wasn't very hard." He's still on top of me and my heart is beating very fast. My face was burning and I felt like I was shaking. "I won't bug you anymore, for now." He ends with a laugh.

I get out a small laugh and opened my eyes. I watch him climb off of me and hold out his hand, offering to help me up. I smile taking his hand in mine. As soon as our skin met, I felt electric shocks surge through my entire body. His skin was so soft and warm.

When I was standing in front of him, we released each others hands. For some reason, my eyes were glued to his lips. I tried to swallow, but it was stuck in my throat. I finally looked up and saw him looking down at me. I felt nervous and he was giving me an awkward look. 'Oh god, now what?' I screamed at myself.

Thankfully, he just ignored it and moved on. "So, what do you want to do?" he questioned me.

Now things felt awkward. I need to be more careful. It just keeps getting harder and harder to keep it all locked up inside. I took a deep breath, exhaling heavily.

"What do you want? A movie? You're the one that just got back." I felt odd. I couldn't seem to look him in the eyes. When I spoke to him, I tried to focus on other things.

"I guess we could watch some T.V." He stood there just a few inches from me; thinking. "Wanna watch your show, Friends?" He asked with a smile.

I smiled back, "Yeah, sure."

We went downstairs to watch Friends and sat next to each other on the couch. I had a hard time focusing on the show, being so close to him. I bounced my leg up and down and chewed on my bottom lip, nervously. Finally, he spoke. "Are you okay?" he asked, placing his hand on my knee to stop the bouncing. I stopped chewing on my lip and looked into his eyes. "Yeah, I guess." I looked back at the T.V.

He patted my leg. "Come on, lets go to bed."

We walked upstairs and I started to go to my room, but he stopped me. "Come sleep with me in my room. We haven't had a sleep over in a long time." He smiled, making me smile back. "Okay." We went into his room and he closed the door behind us.

I watched him walk over next to his bed and with his back to me; he pulled his shirt up over his head. I stood there by the foot of his bed and watched him slide his jeans down. He turned around and grinned at me. "You gonna sleep in your jeans?" He laughed.

I blushed, slightly embarrassed. I forced a laugh, "No." I felt a little strange with him watching me take my jeans and t-shirt off. He got into his full-sized bed and into his covers. He patted the right side of the bed, next to him, motioning for me to lay down. I crawled into the bed with him and under the covers. I can feel the warmth coming from him.

We talked for about two hours, and then I turned on my side. A few minutes went by I figured Andrew had fallen asleep. He surprised me when I felt him wrap an arm around my chest and his chest pressed against my back. "Mmm, I missed you so much." I could feel his breath blow through my hair.

"Mmm, yeah." I smiled to myself. 'It's nice being so close to him.' I thought. We just laid there and I listened and felt him breath in and out. He moved his hand to my arm resting beside me, close to my chest, and rubbed my arm, running his fingers lightly across my skin. I closed my eyes, feeling relaxed and also excited. 'Oh my god, I want to try and kiss him or something. I'm terrified, but I don't want to wait any longer.'

I thought for a moment, 'Okay, here it goes. God, I'm scared.' I nervously sat up and turned on my other side. My body shook as I looked into Andrew's eyes. My breathing quickened as I leaned in closer to him. I put one arm down, elbow against the bed, and placed my other arm on the other side of him. He stared at me, not blinking.

"T-todd?" He asked with curious wide eyes. He placed his hands on both of my shoulders.

My eyes went blurry with tears. "I'm sorry." I whispered. I closed in the space between our faces and pressed my lips to his. His grip tightened on my shoulders, and I felt his lips quiver against mine. My arms started shaking and I felt a tear slip down my cheek.

Pulling away, I kept my head bent, tears sliding down my face. I straddled his legs and kept both hands on either side of him, arms straight. I shook my head lightly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry…….don't hate me. Please. I tried….." I stopped, not able to talk anymore.

I heard the bed creak and I tilted my head up a little, looking at him. He sat up and was looking at me, eyebrows furrowed. I looked back down and he cupped my chin in his right hand and tilted my head back up. My dampened brown eyes looked into his brown eyes. "I'm sorry." I repeated.

"Hmph." He gave me a small smile. "Don't be." I felt confused; I gave him a questioning look. His smile widened and he leaned in, pressing his lips back to mine. I held my breath in shock. 'W-what?' I thought. 'He's kissing me back? I thought…..' He took his left hand and held the back of my head, pressing his lips harder to mine. Our lips moved together as I placed both of my hands against his back, holding him. He released my chin and moved it to hold my side.

I released my breath and closed my eyes. 'God, I love him.' A few seconds passed, and he pulled away. I looked at him shyly, but slightly curious as to what that was all about. We both pulled our arms back and looked at each other for a moment.

"So….," he started with a laugh, "when did this start? You liking me….." he asked with a smile.

"Umm…..remember that night in the pool? Your birthday….."I said with embarrassment.

He threw back his head and laughed. Looking back at me, he replied, "Ha, I should've known. You were actin goofy." He paused. "You should've told me." He said with a serious voice.

I sighed. "I was afraid."

"I know……..so was I." I raised an eyebrow at him. "I thought I was some kind of sicko for having the hots for my little brother." He laughed.

"The hots?" I asked, laughing quietly.

"Yeah," he leaned in to me and my cheeks burned, "You're just so damn cute." He grinned.

I pushed him back, "Ah! Stop it!" I turned my face away, trying to hide my embarrassment. (Not working, ha. .)

He grabbed one of my hands and pulled it close to his face. My eyes widened slightly as I watched him kiss the tip of my middle finger. I looked up to meet his gaze and something changed in his eyes. He looked in the 'mood'. 'Oh god.' I gulped and let my mouth hang a little open as he licked the tip of my finger. I stared at him as my heart began to beat faster. I feel really nervous and excited at the same time. 'What's gonna happen?'

He slowly pushed my middle and index finger into his warm wet mouth. I could feel his tongue slide under my fingers; this causes me to draw in my breath sharply. My breathing became faster the more he licked my two fingers, running his tongue all over them, tasting me.

I tried to force another swallow down, but I was unsuccessful. I feel frozen. He pulled my fingers out of his mouth and leaned into me again. Pressing his lips to my ear, he whispered, "Want me to lick you anywhere else?" He nibbled on my earlobe playfully.

I gasped and my eyes widened more. Feeling him run one of his hands down my side, I couldn't get my words out. "I-I…..don't….k-know….umm….." I felt more embarrassed now.

He positioned his face back in front of mine and put his lips against mine. This kiss was different, more intimate. I felt his tongue run between my lips, so I parted my lips more. Feeling his tongue in my mouth and moving against mine, was a weird, pleasant feeling. I closed my eyes to focus just on our kiss.

I'm not sure how it happened, but I ended up laying on my back with him on top of me, our heads at the end of the bed.

We stayed that way for what felt like hours and then he ended our kiss. He pulled his head up and just looked at me for a moment, running his fingers through my hair with one of his hands. Finally, he broke the silence.

"I love you."

I smiled and at that moment I felt so happy, tears formed in my eyes.

"I love you too."

He leaned back down, gave me a peck on the lips and rolled off me and lay beside me. As he held me, sometime that night we drifted off to sleep with only the sound of our hearts beating and us breathing in and out. 'The next morning will be so much different.' Was my last thought.

_Yaoi-Freak1990 – Hey everyone!!! I am so sorry for taking so long to put up the next chapter. Things have been……not sure how to put it. Well, our internet has not been on in months so it caused a problem with putting stories on internet. I have had this chapter written and finished for one month I think. We are getting our internet turned back on this month so then I will be able to update faster. Also, the writing thing has been kinda blah to me. I just don't know what to write sometimes. And I wrote two new stories and then decided to finish this chapter. I probably won't post them until I finish one of my stories. There has also been a lot of drama at school with friends…… (stupid). Yeah anyway……thanks to everyone who keeps reading my stories and especially to those who review. Love ya! _

_Also, I am almost finished with the next chapter to __A New Feeling__, so look for it soon!!! Once again, THANK YOU!!!!!_


	7. Things Start to Heat Up

The next morning really wasn't much different. Everything seemed so….normal. The only difference was I felt less awkward and Andrew looked less tense. I tried my best to not think of the previous night, although difficult, I had to try. I kept reminding myself 'It's got to be kept a secret. We're only brothers. Nothing else.'

All my concentration was broken when Andrew sat down next to me in the kitchen. I slowly looked up at him and met his blank expression.

"You're makin it a little obvious." He said softly.

I sighed and returned my gaze back to the table surface. "Sorry….I'm trying not to…." I trailed off.

He patted my back, "It's no problem. I'm just bein paranoid. Only me and you know what 'happened'." He lowered his voice on the last word. I nodded, feeling heat rise to my cheeks as I pictured Andrew being so close and intimate with me.

We spent most of the day with our parents. It seemed long, all we did was watch movies and talk about Andrew's trip. Close to eleven our parents went to bed. When we reached the top, I felt Andrew was closer.

He spoke, his voice low, "You want to sleep in my room again tonight?" His hand gripped my shoulder. I paused, mind frozen, and felt his chest press up against my back.

"Y-yes?" I stammered.

"You don't have to." He said, sounding disappointed. 

I spun around quickly, facing him. "I want to!" I said rushed and somewhat louder than a whisper with reddened cheeks.

His eyes lit up and a huge smile spread across his face; my blush deepened. "Come on," He tugged on my hand and led me to his room. 

Once we were in his room, he shut and…..locked the door. I felt my body break out into a cold sweat. He turned my way and I glanced down, not wanting to see what his eyes held. I listened to his feet drag across his emerald carpet and then saw his feet placed in front of mine. A lump grew in my throat, wanting and not wanting to see his emotions; fearing what the night will hold.

I slowly moved my eyes up his body from his feet to his chest; I stopped. After a short pause, I cautiously looked up to his eyes. His eyes gleamed from the street light shining in through the window, the only light in the room. His features were really calm and tranquil; and also comfortable and relaxed. I couldn't tell what was on his mind. I had a few ideas……

He exhaled heavily and my stomach turned. When was this nervousness going to go away? He spoke, his voice shaky, "Lay down?"

I looked towards the bed, "Kay." My voice was shakier than his.

We lay down, facing each other. For awhile, we just stayed this way with him rubbing my arm slowly. "You okay, little brother?" He laughed quietly.

I also laughed, "I think so."

"Nervous."

"A bit."

"So am I." We laughed again nervously.

"What do you want to do?" Andrew asked.

"Uhh….."I felt a little panicky………"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"Ummm….."He laughed again, sounding nervous.

My mind froze and my hands started to shake and I felt….hot. What will happen? Same as last night? Or will we go further? Do I want to go further yet? My thinking stopped when I felt his forehead press to mien.

"You feel kinda hot." He said in a low voice.

Oh wow….. "Nervous…"

"Mmmm." He squeezed my arm slightly.

Even though we have not gotten anywhere yet….this is still better than what I used to imagine. One thing I worry about is if we were to go any further, could I hide it as well as he could from our parents? I wish we could act like a real couple, but we can't. At least, not yet. Would this work out? Could we find a way to live together forever and people not get suspicious? I suppose that we would eventually have to tell our parents. Their reactions…..I have no clue what to expect. I guess, I can worry about that later. Right now, I'm going to just think about the person I love……who is so close to me.

"Todd?"

"Hmm?"

"Take your clothes off?" My jaw dropped. He was serious. My brother just asked me to take my clothes off. I feel so alive!!! Wait….if I'm naked….that means he will be touching me. HOLY CRAP! I have to stay calm.

It took a second to remember how to move my lips. "Y-yeah….s-sure…." I got up out of bed and pulled my shirt over my head. 

"Want me to take mine off too?" Andrew asked. I paused in the middle of undoing my jeans. "Yeah." I whispered. I saw him, barely, get out of bed. I focused on taking off my jeans and boxers and trying not to fall over….or pass out. I stayed standing there until I heard him slide under the covers on the bed. "You comin?" he asked eagerly. 

"Mhmm." I slid under the covers with him and he wrapped his arm around me pulling me as close as possible to him. I loved this feeling. Our warm skin pressed together. I put a hand on his arm wanting to touch him. His hand felt my side and ran down my thigh and back up to my side.

"Your skin is soft." He rubbed the tip of his nose against mine. I smiled. I rubbed my thumb back and forth on his side, "So is yours." He shuddered. Then his lips slammed into mine causing me to grip his side tightly.

This kiss was much more heated than the last kiss we shared. He hungrily pressed his lips to mine, until they parted. His tongue moved fiercely with mine and was moving deeper into my mouth as he worked in. Our breathing quickened as did my pulse while the kiss continued. His hands were all over me:

My back; running his hands up and down, sometimes pressing hard or clawing at my skin slightly. Then up to my neck, deepening our kiss. His hand clenched and unclenched with his breathing as I felt his knee's start to push into mine. His hand gently slid down my back, down my……..butt….

I clenched; he chuckled. My cheeks became very hot. I exhaled heavily, my mouth opening more, he took my lower lip between his teeth. His hand crept around to my front side, I opened my eyes wide as his fingers brushed my inner thigh. My breath caught as he got closer to……….

And then it was all over, I could all of a sudden see his closed eyes so close as that little bit of light lit up the room. His eyes snapped open as his hand froze in place. He quickly sat up in the bed, throwing the covers off me.

We held our breaths and listened for…….footsteps that were going down the hall, getting closer. Andrew shot out of the bed, pulling on his briefs. I quickly did the same, although, my erection made that difficult….

"Lay back down." Andrew quietly demanded of me. I did what he said and pulled the covers over me. I saw the front of his briefs bulged out only briefly before he turned. With his back to me he pulled his jeans back on. 

The was a knock on the door, "Yeah?" Andrew asked calmly.

"Todd in there? He's not in his room." It was our dad.

"Yeah." Andrew answered and looked over at me. He looked a little panicky, but his voice stayed calm; good control.

"Ok." And he walked off. We waited for the light to shut off. When it was dark again, I heard Andrew sigh.

I swallowed, my throat seemed so dry. "You ok?" I asked.

Andrew took in a deep breath. "Yeah, he just scared the shit outta me."

"Yeah." I heard him unzip his jeans again and crawl into bed. He laid back next to me, both on our backs. "So?" I asked.

"Kinda freaked out now." He laughed nervously.

"Yeah……..want to just…." I trailed off.

"Go to sleep? I guess so….we could try this again some other time." He sounded disappointed.

"Ok." I reached down for his hand and laced our fingers together.

"This sucks." He sighed.

"Yeah, sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I know." I squeezed his hand and he tightened his hand around mine.

"Love you."

"Love you too."

"Try not to have wet dreams about me, brother." He said with a chuckle.

I snorted, "Yeah, thanks."

_Yaoi-Freak1990 - Hello, peeps!!! So, I finally finished this chapter. LOL obviously….sorry if it didn't go as you wanted to lol. I will make it better next chapter lol. _

_I'm also sorry it's taking me so long to update on my stories. I'm just so busy with school and my fiance…….not enough time in the world. *tear* And I started another story, but I won't post that one yet…… I'm workin on things! Thanks for reading!!! And reviewing, it makes me so happy ^.^ Let me know what you thought. Love you guys!!!_


	8. Control Thy Self

A week went by after that night, not much had happened. We talked like we normally do and occasionally he would pass me a wink or a little rub to the shoulders. I was beginning to think he had given up on us ever doing anything. Until….

I was on my way to my room when I felt Andrew's hand on my side. My skin prickled as he whispered into my ear. "I'll meet you in your room in a minute."

When I opened my mouth to say something back, nothing came out. He came around and looked into my eyes. There was a little gleam in his eyes and a hidden smirk that made me blush. I watched him go into his room and then rushed into mine.

What should I do? Get changed? Lay down? Take off my clothes? I stood nervously in the middle of the room unsure of what to do. But, I ran out of time for thinking. I heard my door shut and turned to see my half-naked older brother leaning against my door with his hands behind his back.

"Why do you still have your clothes on?" A smile played on his lips.

"Where are your c-clothes?" I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"I figured I could get a head start."

"Oh." I looked away in embarrassment.

"So, uh…." He walked over to stand in front of me, "You ready to try this again?"

"I think so."

"It'll be fine. This time it'll work. I promise." I looked up at him. "I already told dad I would be in here so no interruptions."

This made me smile. "Wow…..you really want this to work this time, don't you?"

"You have no idea." He leaned in and lightly brushed his lips across mine. "I'll get the lights, you should get undressed."

"K-kay." I pulled my shirt off and started to undo my jeans when I realized the lights were still on. I looked up to see Andrew holding the light switch between his fingers and smiling at me. "Keep going."

"Uh…."

"I'm just watching." I just stared at him. "Fine," He rolled his eyes, jokingly. Once it was dark, I finally finished undressing and got into my bed.

"So?" Andrew sat next to me in the bed.

"Hmm," I felt his lips on my ear and I shied away in embarrassment.

"What?" He laughed.

"I don't know." I laughed softly, rubbing my ear.

"Okay." Leaning back in he kissed my neck. I closed my eyes exhaling deeply as my skin prickled. His teeth nibbled at my sin and I instantly wanted his lips to mine. Turning my head slowly, I recaptured his lips with mine. Andrew kissed me with more force than before and his hands shook as he explored my body. "What do you want to do?" His voice shook as he ran a hand up my thigh.

Our breathing was heavy and uneven as we both shook nervously. "I don't know I'm so nervous, I feel sick." I placed a hand over my quick beating heart.

"Me too, but I'm more excited than anything." He chuckled softly. "How about we lie down and just start with touching? Keep it simple, one step at a time. Okay?" He rubbed my back.

"Okay." I smiled to myself. He's always so patient with me. We lay on our sides facing each other.

He rubbed my arm for awhile, his nose pressed up against mine. "It's okay." He reassured me. I took a deep breath calming myself. "We'll only do what you're ready for." He kissed the tip of my nose.

I felt sort of pathetic laying there shaking. I wasn't sure what I was ready for. When I was alone, I felt ready for anything! When we were kissing, I felt like that was all I could handle, I was just going to have to deal with being nervous.

I was beginning to feel very confident until Andrew spoke, bringing me back to reality. "Todd?"

"Yes?" My stomach turned.

"I need you." His voice was low.

My heart picked up its pace as my shaking increased. There was only one thing I could say to that. I tried to calm myself, "I'm all yours."

Andrew pushed me back as he got on top of me. His lips crashed into mine, sending my head spinning. As our lips parted for air, he said, "I love you." His lips were quickly back to mine, giving me no chance of saying anything. Everything was going so fast, I felt dizzy.

His hands were everywhere, but occasionally he would stop to hold my hand. I guess he was trying to calm himself, once his breathing became too heavy he would hold my hand and kiss me slower. Then the intensity would come back, this time, he didn't stop. He moved down my body, placing kisses all the way down. When he kissed right below my navel, I tensed. "It's okay, just relax."

"W-what are you doing?"

"Trust me, okay?" I relaxed a little, but when his lips touched the head of my erection a powerful shiver went through me. Andrew laughed softly, "Control thy self," he joked.

"Thanks," I laughed.

"No problem," His tongue came out unexpectedly, swirling around the head. I gasped. A soft moan escaped Andrew as he took me in his mouth. The pleasure I experienced was indescribable. I was so nervous it took me awhile, but when I finally reached my orgasm, a moan escaped me. Feeling totally elated, I laid there breathing heavily. I was so hot all over.

"Forgot to be quiet?" He teased.

"Sorry." Shyness crept up into me.

He laughed, "Its fine."Andrew spread my legs and I allowed my legs to fold close to me. He scooted closer.

"Umm-"

"It's okay, I will be easy." His finger pressed against my hole. My eyes widened in surprise, his finger was wet. He pushed slowly and then he was inside. "Relax," His other hand rubbed my leg. "You're really tight," He paused, "and I've only got one finger in."

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, I'm just not so sure how patient I can be. I just really want to……" He fingered me for a few minutes. He began to squirm.

I took a deep breath, "I'm ready."

"You sure?"

"I think so…" We laughed awkwardly.

"Okay, I don't have any lube so I'm going to use my saliva. Okay?"

"K."

"It might hurt," he warned me.

"I know."

"Relax for me." I actually felt pretty relaxed, but I wasn't so sure if that would last long. Something pressed against my hole, bigger this time. My hand grasped his arm as he kept pushing, it wasn't going in. "I don't think it's going to work. There's not enough lube." I told him.

He groaned, but then he moved away and started licking my entrance. I gasped, it felt so weird. Then his tongue pushed inside, I tried to stay relaxed. He re-adjusted himself, pushing into me again. This time he went in, just the head though. I squeezed his arm tighter, it hurt bad! "You okay?"

"Mhmm," I didn't expect it to hurt so much. I held my breath and was very still as he pushed all the way in.

"How do you feel?"

I laughed, "Not sure."

"Is it okay if I keep going?"

"Yeah," He went slowly and I made sure to keep the noises low. It wasn't exactly painful, but it was uncomfortable. I guess I can't really compare it to anything. It was hard to keep still.

As he continued, I concentrated on relaxing. Each time I tensed up the pain increased. Before I knew it, Andrew was quickly thrusting into me. Gripping his arms, Andrew moaned roughly. I took a deep breath, we made love!

Andrew stayed motionless, still inside of me. "You okay?" Why was he just sitting there?

"Yeah," he laughed, "What makes you think I'm not?"

"I don't know…you were just sitting there." I jumped at his lips meeting mine.

"I love you." He whispered in my ear.

"I love you too." A gasp escaped me as he finally pulled out of me.

He held me for the longest time, at one point I fell asleep, but he quickly shook me awake. "Todd, we need to get dressed. Can't go to sleep naked."

"I wasn't sleeping," I lied.

"You were snoring."

"Oh…" I groaned with a stretch, "Why do we have to get dressed?"

"Oh we don't, because if mom and dad walk in, they won't think anything of us sleeping naked together." He shoved me to the edge laughing, "Get dressed." Andrew helped me get dressed and with one last kiss, we went to sleep.

_Yaoi-Freak1990 – This may not have been the best chapter. *shrugs* Well, I'm not sure. *laughs* Let me know what you think. Sorry for the short chapter. My fiancé keeps trying to look over my shoulder, making me nervous!! _


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